Hate on Everything..

Someones gotta do it..

2009-08-06T17:39:00.000-07:00

Its no secret that i don't get along well with authority. Ever since i was a youngster, i have been considering ways to extract revenge on the rio lake area.
This has to do with the platoon of rent-a-cops armed w/ flashlights that make it a necessary duty to violate your daily happenings. I don't know where they come from, they pop out like crickets, they could make up a whole cavalry for Mozambique.

DO NOT under any circumstances ride a bicycle on or near the rio lake area. You will be swarmed upon by a small battalion of rent-a-cops like stink on shit. They will then use their holier then you attitude to try and shove a flashlight up your ass.

Summer of 2004: Chris Beach ruined my weeks of preparation in what was supposed to be the "rio reprisal". He agreed to donate his dying stand-up jet-ski in one last "hoorah" around rio lake. Bobby Parks had agreed to drive the jetski donning only a g-string and a Beavis mask. The de-stickered jet ski was to be ditched in the lake while he escaped via a getaway truck sitting on the shoulder of 270. To see this man doing circles around the fountain in a g-string while i sipped on cocktails at the joes crab shack deck; i would of died a happy man. As always, Beach faked and sold the jet ski for more crystal meth. Don't listen to a word this man says, the river float party has made great progress btw.

So 5 years later i have taken it upon myself to extract revenge. Yes i remain bitter. We all know about the humongous fish that reside in rio lake. In large part because fishing is obviously outlawed at the lake. What would happen if one cast a fishing line into the lake?? One may never know because no one has had the balls to do it..until now. The way i see it: You will be immediately converged upon by the legion of flashlight wielding commandos. They will then treat you as what they see you as, which is an AXE MURDERER. They will taze,mace, and pepper spray you and then try and hold you until the real pigs come.

Not so fast my friend. I will not cast a line off of the bridge. I will rent a pedal boat during happy hour and pedal over to the fountain. It is then time to break out my folding fishing pole and vest of lures (see picture). I will obviously catch a trophy fish immediately and hold my prize to the margarita sipping cougars at Uncle Julios. It is not until then that i will be able to rest my grudge with the rio.

Thank You Dilly!

2009-08-06T17:20:00.000-07:00

sent some pics over..

Road Soda...

2009-08-03T14:36:00.001-07:00

Noooo, say it ain't so. the only thing worse then cornhole is an
arcade cornhole. Daddy expects better out of you :-(

colored in..

2009-07-23T17:05:00.000-07:00

hurt a lil bit, now on to bigger and better tats..

Faghole..

2009-07-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

Something disturbing happened when i stopped by Dick's to pick up some beer pong balls. They had a whole aisle of assorted "cornhole sets". Some topping 100$. Not only that, they also had "washer toss" sets for 50$. A bag of metal washers and a fucking tin can. What kind of poor sap would purchase on of those. go to lowes and waste a few bucks, or just raid your grandfathers garage and get it for free.

I have been aware for quite some time, that this pathetic game has taken this country by storm. We have yokels across the country sawing,sanding,primering, and painting their very own cornhole sets. Let's take a look at the cornhole game. It is a fucking piece of plywood with a hole in it,and a sack of beanbags. So easy i bet the geico cavemen were playing it in 1300 B.C. Can we have different valued holes like skeeball?..no, you only get one fucking hole..better make it count.

Where along the line of thought, do people think that they would rather play this game then beer pong. How can one even compare the two? It's like comparing Hulk Hogan to the Brooklyn Brawler.

It's almost as bad as "shoot the squirt gun at the target" county fair game. I have come up with my own game that combines these two American failures. I come to your house and punch a hole in your wall. Everyone takes turns peeing in the hole, accuracy counts of course. There will be buckets on the other side with a red line, nickelodeon double dare physical challenge style. Fill to the red line first and win. Daniel Stouffer has plenty of stuffed animals donated to the winners.

Rewind to fall 2008. I enter Caddies on Cordell and witness three popped collar, mandel wearing douchebags eagerly waiting in line for what i thought was the next round of golden tee. Upon closer inspection, the game that they slobbering over was "Bagz" You guessed it, "bagz" is a fucking arcade cornhole game. WTF, a piece of wood and a beanbag have now made it in the arcades. I wanted to grab each guido by thier ear and shove a tijuana breathmint down their throat.

Softball practice

2009-07-09T17:34:00.000-07:00

Debut Saturday?!

ok..who wants to switch jobs?

2009-07-08T16:48:00.000-07:00

This is your normal day. you must deliver every single one of these 175 stops/450 packages. pickups start at 1620 (military time). 40 pickups/~200 pick up pieces.
And you will be forced to help one of the old slowpokes when you are done.

throughout the day you can expect on-call pickups coming in, COD's, multiple commit time windows, misloaded packages, shitty drivers, at least 3 people asking for directions, etc you can count on at least 4 things per day that will make you want to cuss out even the hottest receptionists. (broken elevators, loading docks taken, vicious dogs, etc)

and then theres the stupid comments: Whats in it?
I don't know, when I was putting these together at home this morning I forgot what I put in this one. or i dont know but its from porn-master.

stay dry. Does it look like im dry?

Is it ticking? Yes, Don't open it until after I leave

do you need me to sign for that? as i am ready to pull away after leaving it on the porch. etc, etc the list goes on. any takers?

congrats eurotech motorsports

2009-07-07T17:53:00.000-07:00

congrats on the move! new spot is siiick!

and congrats on the new blog, looking forward the projects you got over there!

http://eurotechmotorsports666.blogspot.com/

Another hot one..

2009-07-01T12:56:00.001-07:00

No worries, it'll buff right out..

2009-06-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

Hurt a lil bit..

2009-06-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

Md blue crab, nats, cherry blossoms = most painful tattoo ever?

Oh well can't wait to see it w/ colors!

New ink

2009-06-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

don't be scared dan, it's just a snake.

New girlfriend?!

2009-06-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

Stripper pole!

2009-06-28T08:42:00.000-07:00

So we decide to call over some special guests and boogie comes running
down the stairs with a fucking stripper pole he pulled out from under
his bed. First 2 questions: where did you get that and why the fuck
haven't you told anyone you had a stripper pole under your bed! That
guy is a wild dude

Go caps!

2009-06-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

Carlos delivering in darmestown on Saturday haha

Well well well, another gaywad

2009-06-28T08:26:00.000-07:00

My homemade wings

2009-06-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

Gaywad

2009-06-28T08:15:00.001-07:00

Bgs refrigerator. Keepin it classy..

2009-06-28T08:13:00.000-07:00

Fantasy Football

2009-06-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

This post wont win me over any fans. but who cares, that's not what im here for.
It's the end of June and around the time all you poor saps have your faces buried in those 8$ FF magazines. They are so worthless, i could write one up in a few days.

Those who puff the hookah of fantasy football believe that the leagues are just a harmless way to put average fans in a position to be more involved in the game. Fantasy football worships individual achievement, a far reach of what football is all about. The true meaning of football, the reason I become one with my television set every Sunday, is that it is the ultimate team sport.

I drafted Matt Forte in the 10th round last year. Didnt do me a damn thing. I had the best team every week, but would still get beat by some "dumbass chick" (not you lindsay) because every scrub player decided to get 150 yds and 2 TDs (think Amani Toomer, Jerricho Cotchery, etc)

Since the arrival of fantasy football, the passionate and loyal football fan has slowly withered into nothingness. Remember back in the day when the ticker showed a score and a few key performances? Now I get updates on my TV letting me know that Dominic Rhodes had one carry for three yards.

Sundays at Pelican Petes..on the bar stool next to me sits BG. BG is screaming at the top of his lungs for Warner to throw a TD pass to Fitzgerald. His favorite team is the 49ers. I tell BG to take a break from his wine coolers and cinnamon sticks and realize that the Cardinals and 49ers are in the same division. I take a second to look around and there are thirty BG's surrounding me. Real and true fans are nowhere in sight.

The cowboys fans are cheering for redskins to score a touchdown so they too can have a free shot of BG's cherry wine cooler. A few giants fans (and M.Barber owners) are in the corner hoping Barber gets a last second TD to help their scores. At this point i decide to leave before deciding to strangle somebody.

Last year was my last fantasy season. I will save my 150$ but will congratulate whoever wins at the end of the year (for winning a game based on pure luck).

-Sincerely your 2x FF Champion CS

Don't worry Lindsay..

2009-06-24T17:20:00.001-07:00

I gave them a honk for ya :-)

this man is Horny for Zorny!

2009-06-24T09:43:00.001-07:00

According to his shirt...

corner of shady grove and fallsgrove blvd

another gaywad

2009-05-11T17:55:00.001-07:00

rockstar/hart & huntington crf88 w/ racehead

2009-05-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

Old man's new truck

2009-05-06T16:34:00.000-07:00

trade attempt was a failure

reason #1340 to own an iphone

2009-05-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's waterproof

2009-05-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

and 145 stops off at 2:15 = killin it

first test runs

2009-05-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

ouch!, didnt consider those tree branches

will be right back after some pruning!

Sorry neighbors!

2009-04-29T17:31:00.001-07:00

Yoshimura carbon fiber RS2 exhaust

2009-04-29T17:30:00.001-07:00

Back to work..

2009-04-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

new kicks

2009-04-29T16:32:00.000-07:00

The downhill 35 footer

2009-04-28T15:40:00.001-07:00

Pain is temporary, glory is forever

The new compound

2009-04-27T16:33:00.001-07:00

My front wheel did that to the tree

2009-04-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ouch!

New tags!

2009-04-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hurts so good

2009-04-19T12:39:00.000-07:00

Free shirts!

2009-04-16T15:52:00.001-07:00

So I deliver to the place that makes the shirts for elliot and since I
take such good care of them I got a trash bag of shirts. Good thing I
didn't tell them I like the junkies better

Xmas in April

2009-04-08T16:26:00.000-07:00

88cc big bore kit, bout to get serious

Kicker ik500

2009-04-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

Worlds most powerful iPhone docking station, complete with 6" subwoofer!

calm before the storm..

2009-04-07T17:08:00.000-07:00

New pickup record...

2009-03-31T16:52:00.001-07:00

is 470 pieces

2009-03-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

Fire!

2009-03-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

2009-03-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

stouffer..

2009-03-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

ready to throw in the towel?

Before I decided to jump it up a cliff

2009-03-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Fuck a dayton

2009-03-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

The party must go on..

F my life

2009-03-17T16:57:00.000-07:00

Wish i could take 50 of these. But THE MAN is keeping me down.

"The Man" is a slang phrase that refers to the government, leaders of large corporations, and other authority figures in general, rather than a specific person. "The Man" is colloquially defined as the figurative person who controls the world. The phrase is also often used as ( And in this case) the boss of a blue-collar worker, and the enemy of any counterculture.

The phrase "the Man is keeping me down" is commonly used to describe perceived oppression. The phrase "stick it to the Man" encourages resistance to authority, and essentially means "fight back" or "resist".

F my life

2009-03-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

yet another gaywad

2009-03-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

Rain,sleet,snow,hurricane,tornado,blizzard

2009-03-02T15:01:00.001-08:00

Ups delivers

Do work

2009-02-21T20:35:00.000-08:00

One of rockvilles finer elevators

RIP Jeremy Lusk

2009-02-10T16:07:00.000-08:00

FMX Legend at only 24 years young

Prayers for Jeremy

2009-02-08T15:09:00.000-08:00

2008 fmx rider of the year is in bad shape after yesterdays crash (tough to watch). 5% chance to make it out of first surgey, still hanging on. If anyone can make it, Jeremy can. dude is tough as nails.

Stay safe!

2009-02-08T15:04:00.001-08:00

Spotted a silverback on M street

2009-02-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

Rant

2009-02-05T17:26:00.000-08:00

Before i started this job I thought I was a pretty normal person and your avg. person in DC had common sense. Damn if I wasn't wrong on that one. Now mind you the avg home price where i deliver is $750,000+. Here are a few tips to get your shit to you, not get ran the hell over, and not get cursed out by a driver wearing a shit brown uniform.

* Put fucking numbers on your house. How hard is that? I know your college educated. How fucking hard is it to post numbers. Hire someone hell hire me to put em up. And I understand your shit may be getting remodeled. Grab one of those big ass pieces of ply-wood spray some numbers on it and stick it in the front yard.

* Illuminate the fucking lights. Go stand in the middle of the street at night and see if you can see your house numbers. If you cant see them or have to search to find them how in the fuck do you think I can see them?????

* If you see my big ass truck driving down a narrow two way street with cars parked on both sides I PROMISE you you cannot get buy. Not even in a mini cooper on two wheels.

* If you come out and see that your side view mirror is ripped off dont automatically assume it was me. It was probaly the asshole trying to squeeze by me.

* Honking your horn is not going to move my truck. I assure you I already know I'm blocking your path and you blowing your horn constantly is only going to piss me off which in turn is only going to make me take longer to piss you off.

* If you ordered huge shit from pottery barn, west elm, ikea, or overstock.com and I'm nice enough to bring it in your house b/c your weak, old, with child, have broken limb or just plain fucking lazy dont tip me a fucking dollar an think anything else is going to make it to your house on 1st attempt or in one piece.

* Dont bitch because I threw your landsend or j crew package to your door. Its only a fucking shirt calm your nerves.

* Dont tell me you damn life story unless your paying me to listen. I am on a time line. Shut up and just sign.

* Lock up your dog/cat/bad ass kid or whatever else is wild behind your door. If it comes at me I will fuck it up with whatever I can get my hands on to defend myself.

* And dont try to jump in my shit about a package that UPS lost somewhere in transition. I am only a driver I only deliver what they put on my truck. I have not been a driver my whole life and dont think this brown uniform will stop you from getting your ass kicked

* And always remember my truck is bigger than your vehicle. Its raggedy as hell and DOES NOT STOP ON A DIME and never will. Dont cut me off or ride your bike in my path or think you can beat me across the street. I promise you will end up the loser guaranteed

Greg Forcite

2009-02-04T18:41:00.000-08:00

Circa 2004, case race failure

Team lift?!

2009-02-03T17:27:00.001-08:00

Wtf is this? Thanks for ordering your 130lb dresser that requires a
team to lift it. That's what handtrucks are for

Attack of the Fiddies

2009-01-31T09:46:00.000-08:00

Don't call it a come back

2009-01-31T09:16:00.000-08:00

FeFe wars

2009-01-31T07:43:00.000-08:00

2009-01-31T06:00:00.000-08:00

Man arrested for dealing drugs out of “Free Candy” van

January 31, 2009 ·

“It seemed perfectly legitimate”: Eyewitness

By Daniel Stouffer, Staff Reporter

Frederick – Local deadbeat Christopher Beach was arrested Thursday after he was caught selling marijuana from his van.

Beach's red van, which features the words “Free Candy” painted on the side, had been parked beside Daddy's Pub for 42 hours, attracting local children and potheads alike.

Police say that despite the trustworthy appearance of the truck as a source for free candy, it was in fact a front for Beach's illegal drug business.

“We watched the van for several hours after noticing some suspicious behavior,” said an undercover officer with Frederick Police. “The young children would walk away looking disappointed, while thug teenagers would flock to the van and linger for several moments.”

After searching the van, officers found no candy whatsoever, not even a single gummy bear. What they did find was three grams of marijuana that appeared to be mixed with oregano.

“It came as a shock,” commented Bonnie Gonsalves, a mother of two small children who visits Daddy's Pub daily. “I encouraged my children to go to the truck for some candy. I would never have thought it was an illegal drug operation.”

“It seemed perfectly legitimate,” she added.

Aside from the charge of petty trafficking, police say Beach could be charged with more crimes, including false advertising, attempted pedophilia, and ownership of a suspicious-looking van.

Beach already faces charges of arrest evasion after he reportedly tried to stumble away from police while in a drug-induced stupor.

Skate2!

2009-01-22T14:08:00.000-08:00

Skate2 is coming!

2009-01-22T14:06:00.000-08:00

Need a yellow truck?

2009-01-17T13:27:00.000-08:00

Theyre on a train heading to the auction lot

Rednecks hat

2009-01-17T07:34:00.000-08:00

hell yea, check out the rabbits foot! this is the work of a genius

Motocross>Redskins..Joe Gibbs agrees

2009-01-15T18:46:00.000-08:00

Im going to sit back and watch next year as yet another team surpasses the redskins. The Kansas City Chiefs who hired a real-life, competent GM is going to come into FedEx Field next year and kick our ass. Home field advantage? we dont have one. The jumbotron at RFK was better.

As long as Vinny is in charge expect to lose. A #2 and #6 for a 240lb 34 year old DE? great pickup. A #7 for Erasmus James (minny's damaged goods)? Did he even suit up for a game? Wasting picks on players w/ degenerate knee problems is great scouting (m kelly). Three receiver busts in one round is a NFL record that will never ever be broken. Why are we drafting a TE with Cooley in the prime of his career? Oh because he's the "best available". How'd that do for us? So that means he's better then DeSean Jackson right? Malcom Kelly will probably never see the field, Davis will continue to back up a pro bowler, and ive seen enough of Devin Thomas to know he fuckin sucks. At least he'll be a good special teamer for us, and at least we drafted a great punter.

Vinny isnt going anywhere. Bagelboy wanted Vinny to move in with him. So as long as vinny is in charge (get used to it) i will not continute to be let down by this team. 09 is no doubt gonna be another re-builiding year. Both lines are old, injured, and shitty. No young talent what so ever thanks to vinny. Im sure Golston & Montgomery are good people, they are also good rotation players, but they are not starter material in this league. Theres our young talent. Oh i forgot, we have 3rd rd pick Chad Rhinehart at guard. Did he even suit up this year? If Jason Fabini is ahead of you, your not making it in this league.

Joe Gibbs left the Redskins last year to start a motocross team among other things. In the teams 1st race this year 21 year old rookie JGRMX team rider Josh Grant upset heavy favorites James Stewart and Chad Reed. Being an ex-motocross racer, i would much rather spend my time and money supporting JGRMX then the redskins. AMA Nationals Coming to Budds Creek MD saturday, august 22nd. get your beer bongs ready.

NFL PLAYOFFS - its a travesty

2009-01-15T18:18:00.000-08:00

The Phillies and Eagles winning in the same year? For so many reasons, this cannot happen, it will NOT happen. I'll never watch another sporting event ever again.

The Steelers winning another one? Having to deal with these towel twirling fairy's talking about a ring for their other hand? This cannot happen. I'll never watch another sporting event.

Baltimore winning its 2nd in 10 years? This cannot happen either. Reasons already listed previously.

So that leaves the Arizona fucking Cardinals. I'd love to see this happen. Just so we dont have to hear about westbrook's knee all game, i'd love for moco's own big Dock to put him out for the game on the first play. Arizona winning the Super Bowl would probably mark the end of life as we know it. if not, i'll continue to watch team sports, knowing that the good guys can win every now and then.

how many dicks you suck to get your ticket?

2009-01-15T15:20:00.000-08:00

classic

Speaking of Cal Ripken..

2009-01-12T18:22:00.000-08:00

I'll go on to say something that you Baltimoron's would never fathom with your limited mental capacity. You people are so far in the forest, you can't see the trees.

Ripken's consecutive game streak? Obviously the result of Cal's legendary work ethic? Think again.Ripken shared steroids in the same clubhouse with Brady Anderson, Rafael Palmeiro, Manny Alexander, David Segui, etc He was teammates with some of the biggest steroid users but yet he had nothing to do with them.

There's no reason to assume that Cal collected more total bases and posted a higher slugging percentage in 1996 than he had in the five previous seasons with the help of anything other than good old fashioned elbow grease. Look at the stats, Cal's numbers went up when he was in his 30s and spiked during Brady Anderson's monster 50 home run season. Also, google Cal Ripken and Kevin Costner together to see why his streak should have an asterisk next to it.

NFL Playoffs- Ravens

2009-01-12T17:56:00.000-08:00

The city of Baltimore sucks and everyone who lives there by choice sucks too. Baltimore is mainly inhabited by deviants who like to have sex with birds, including but not limited to orioles and ravens. They had the colts taken from them because animal rights groups could no longer ignore Baltimore citizen's fondness for horse molestation. Following this they cried for years about having their football team stolen, and then they went and stole someone else's team because they were so gay that the NFL would not give them their own team again. They then renamed this team, which they stole, the Ravens, which is THE GAYEST name for a a sports team in the history of sports. Not only is the name Ravens extremely gay, but their jerseys are purple, adding another dimension to their flamboyant gayness. They are named the Ravens in honor of Edgar Allan Poe who married his 13 year old cousin and died of rabies. It is obvious that the citizens of Baltimore named their team this to give off the impression that they were literate. I am not sure how you have sex with birds, but one of these days it will come back to bite you in the ass. However, you will probably enjoy this. It is only a matter of time before all of your citizens get bird flu from your dirty bird sex. Cal Ripken, you also suck by association.

Regular everyday normal motherfucka

2009-01-11T16:25:00.000-08:00

my anthem

don't drink and drive

2009-01-11T12:52:00.000-08:00

I am Gay- Chris Beach

2009-01-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

Associated Press-Frederick Md
Hi this is Chris Beach, i would just like to let all of my friends and family know that i am now a fag.

New county moneymaker

2009-01-11T08:36:00.000-08:00

These stupid looking things are popping out like deer across the county. 2 new ones at the end of 118 and 2 new ones on 28. Many people just treat them as yellow flags in a nascar race. Slow down for a brief period before getting back into full throttle.

But many others must slow down to under 20 mph to pass them. Here's a secret: the speed limit is 40, you can even go 46 or even 47 mph and not get a ticket. How cool is that?!?

Even worse, some people slown down to under 20 at cameras that are facing the other direction. How is one able to get a Maryland issued driver's license, yet be so FUCKING STUPID to do that.

Read about the "Pimping" game and how to send tickets to your enemies

Ben your right

2009-01-10T09:38:00.001-08:00

It is almost heaven

PS3 online madden

2009-01-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

i got tired of beating my brothers ass all the time and just started back up playing ranked games. First big win here against Ulostfosho13, who was using the patriots. He was 97-13 ranked in the top 1000. Notice the time of possession. My second drive started with 3:00 left in the 4th quarter! I got the ball first, drive stalled out at midfield. His first drive went the length of the field and he scored a touchdown right before half. He then gets the 2nd half kickoff and continues to drain the clock, very frustrating. Im beginning to adjust to his offense, which included a potent bubble screen to Moss that had a seemingly endless supply of blockers out in the flats. Pierce came up with a huge pick out in said flats and returned it to the 10. Scored to tie 7-7. He then goes on another time exhausting touchdown drive. 3:00 left in the 4th i get my 2nd full drive. I go the length of the field with Jacobs in at fullback and some timely slants to Burress. I had to go for two, i felt it was my best chance to win with the way his offense was moving the ball. Came out in my normal i-form tight and audibled to a fb dive, he knew it was coming. Jacobs labored his way into the endzone from 2 yards out. With 23 seconds and 1 time out, he was unable to get into field goal range. I did my best to lock up Moss for most of the game but he gonna get his yards. End result is a 15-14 upset and one pissed off madden player.

BTW, my username is CapitalPunshmnt. Be warned, I run a no-huddle offense that audibles to 5 different plays and various other hot routes. Its recommended to have your defensive audibles saved before challenging me.

NOOOOOOO

2009-01-10T05:56:00.001-08:00

Super bowl rings Jay Schroeder 1 Dan Marino 0

that was all Doug Williams but still. I think id rather rock a Gus Frerotte jersey.
How pathetic are your quarterbacks that Gus Frerotte is your starting qb in 2008?
ok ok something even more pathetic? i think he did better then Campbell

Nats bike!!

2009-01-10T05:49:00.000-08:00

By hardcore choppers

Real Life Grinches in Poolesville

2009-01-10T05:39:00.001-08:00

This is why i don't like the driver helpers. No offense to the good ones but most of them are idiots. They just get in the way, your responsible if they get injured and you have to think for two people. There are some good ones that can save a lot of time but the others are out trying to steal packages. Nice try

Real Life Grinches get busted

5 more days...

2008-12-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

I have to countdown the working days until this madness is over to maintain sanity. 5 more!
I lost 2nd gear at exactly 10:58 today. 1st to 3rd worked better then i thought, i limped the truck to 213 stops/405 packages.

AOL Radio

2008-12-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

what a find.. the aol radio iphone app has live streaming WJFK! as well as way more channels then iheartradio. As if i needed a reason for the day to go by faster i now have the faggot ass junkies and big o and dukes to listen to. excellent

Two words..

2008-12-16T18:39:00.001-08:00

One could write a whole novel on the Redskins problems right now, or do the same with just two words...

Rockville's 2nd best driver

2008-12-16T18:19:00.001-08:00

I have a therapist on my route...she mixes drinks for me- Sean Paul

PAIN

2008-12-14T08:04:00.001-08:00

I'll just count this as one. Oh, i forgot, were going by total area tattooed. good luck

No worries, I have until August 31st - Stouffer

2008-12-14T08:00:00.000-08:00

Even Lil Wayne is praying for you...

Weekends rule..

2008-12-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Shooottttts

Saving private Alan..

2008-12-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

My son is quick to make fun of daddy's dogbites but also quick to call daddy to come bail him out. Aww, my son had too many stops and called daddy to come rescue him. Look at the inside of your truck at 3:30, wtf have you been doing all day? Stop drinking 6 cups of bourbon the night before and you wont have this problem. Your going to bed without supper tonight son. Dont make my have my boys poke you in the chest again either.

I want whatever is in this box!

2008-12-12T09:44:00.001-08:00

G'ed up

2008-12-11T18:38:00.000-08:00

Taylor's getting a shiny new shank for x-mas.

Today sucked..

2008-12-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

Find this piece of paper in every drivers log this morning. Didnt take long for every driver in rockville and potomac to blow up my phone & crack jokes. real funny guys. Just imagine me freezing cold, soaking wet, one dog biting my arm, one biting my ass, took a swing at one with the diad board, missed it, plants and shit flying all over the porch = good times. Better days ahead.

I hate dogs...

2008-12-10T16:28:00.000-08:00

First dog bites of peak 08. another worse one on my butt lol. Idiot lady opens the door to sign for a pkg and they rush out and start attacking me, pretty funny i admit. She will pay.

But I'll use this time to say dogs fuckin suck. It's cool to have one for protection i guess, but thats what heaters are made for. These things can't talk, they can't think, they shed their hair everywhere. They bark at all hours.
If your cat falls asleep on the window sill, you can go away and come back and he'll still be there. If your dog falls asleep on the sill, warn people below to move away. Dogs can feel no love.
Tail wagging, barking with joy, he'll greet you at the door like the Pope greets the ground whenever he flies somewhere. That's not love. That's doggy language for "I'm dependent on you and would die if left alone! Dogs are not smart. Eating your own shit is not a sign of intelligence.
Like I want to get up, put on my shoes, grab the leash and take you outside every time your thimble-sized bladder needs emptying? Half the time a dog will get so excited when he sees the leash he'll pee in the kitchen before you get him outside anyway. And I'm not real thrilled with the whole "wrap a bag around your hand so you can pick it up while it's still soft and warm" idea, either. You have to feed them. Scratch that. They'll eat anything. A dog can survive in the desert for six months if you give him a pack filled with old shoes, pillows, house plants and computer cables. Once that runs out, he'll eat sand. Dogs use their claws to dig holes in the yard. If they can't get to the yard they'll dig holes through the drywall. If they can't get to the drywall they'll dig through the door in order to get to the drywall. Dogs destroy homes. Dogs suck.

Best iphone app ever...

2008-12-09T18:08:00.000-08:00

Fieldrunners!! i have just about every app and This is the best gaming app and a must-have. makes an hour go by instantly.

My other top apps are:
Sportstap, Pandora, Iheartradio, flick fishing, Belikelilwayne, ESPNcamerman(sports photohunt), urbanspoon, shazam, beer bounce, motochaser, dc going out guide, ibeer, pro football, midomi, labyrinth, bejeweled, sportacular, led football and of course myspace, facebook, aim. worst app = koi pond

Let's get this show on the road..

2008-12-09T05:32:00.001-08:00

Maryland's golden boy..

2008-12-08T17:55:00.000-08:00

DVD in stores 12/10..

Money over bitches!

2008-12-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

Reppin the hood hard

Me:1
Stouffer: 0

Luckiest Man Alive..

2008-12-06T09:34:00.000-08:00

For last night at least.. Steve "4 dui" Ashman decides to drive us to the golden horseshoe to STIMULATE the economy and use my free passes. To make a long story short..get pulled over, steve jumps in back seat, "we dont know who was driving officer", cop gets pissed, sobriety test on steve, steve blows cop?, cop drives us all to strip club (w/ steve) THE END

ohh and they took my car, what a DICKHEAD cop

West Virginia "Wild & Wonderful"

The Bet is on........

2008-12-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

Stouffer might have bit off more then he can chew here

the bet: most tattooed by august 31st 2009. Current tattoos do not count.
wager: loser has to throw/fund keg party w/ strippers

im keeping it slow and steady now with a 1 per week pace. good luck